BOLD MOVES are tough for others to accept especially when they have an invested interest in the individual who is making the move. You might have heard the news from the sports world over the weekend that Andrew Luck is retiring from the NFL at the age of 29 (I’ll link this story if you’re interested in reading about it). That’s a bold move! He is walking away from a job that he is gifted in (picked number in the NFL draft in 2012 and went to four pro-bowls). Yet, he is making the decision out of freedom and what’s best for his life and his family. Bold move. What’s more, the people who are invested in him, in a manner that is un-healthy, (the fans and the fantasy football addicts) are angry because they have invested parts of their life into the Andrew Luck bank. What I mean is this; from a toxic fan’s perspective:
- “I bought your jersey and wear it; now make me happy”
- “I drafted you as my starting QB and I have $20 (or more) invested in this Fantasy Football League; now make me happy.”
- “I bought season ticket to the Colts and I expect you to play and take the team to the playoffs (hopefully the Superbowl); now make me happy.”
Andrew Luck is a man; not a happiness bank. Expecting Andrew Luck to be the source of your happiness is a bad place to be (emotionally, relationally and even ethically). I know, I’ve been there. Several years ago I came to the conclusion that I cannot allow an 18 year old who cannot make a tackle or catch a game winning ball be the source of my happiness. One evening I was at a friends house watching a game; my team lost and I LITERALLY lost it. I punched a counter and yelled. I left the friends house knowing my priorities where misplaced. I realized I had placed a football team in the position of my SOURCE OF HAPPINESS. When the team, a person or spouse, an item, or anything else in life, is the source of happiness – and we count on it – at some point it (or they) will let us down.
What is the Source of Your Happiness?
I’m in the middle of a series on the topic of happiness. And I want to drive this point home; other people and/or possessions are not the source of your happiness. It is a never ending pit that you can never fill. Instead, we have to learn to create our own happiness we can do that by:
- Being generous
- Not being lazy
- Not waiting for someday or somebody
- Being forgiving
- Being fully present and engaged with those around us
I have blog post on these topics and will continue to work through the elements that bring happiness. Again, it is our responsibility to create our own happiness.
If you have a narcissist in your life and they demand that you are the source of their happiness, then let’s talk about that. I will coach you in developing the boundaries necessary to protect your emotional and relational heart and potentially help the narcissist to grow in their adult character. Set up your session today: 231-499-9069