Pick me! Pick me! Pick Me!
You scream in your head as you stand in line during the gym class. Hoping the right team picks you and hope you’re not picked last.
Being picked in gym is about acceptance, and it is a basic emotional need that I see with the adults I work with in my coaching practice.
We crave Love & Acceptance.
But how do we go about getting acceptance now that we are adults?
Many don’t; they have given up on meaningful relationships and have chosen for the safety of isolation or shallow friendships. But there’s no life there!
I want more.
I want genuine and authentic relationships where I AM accepted, and I offer it to others –this is real friendship.
Three Essentials for Gaining Acceptance
Essential 1 – Start With God
Romans 8:1-2 (NLT) So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.
Feeling truly accepted begins with our understanding that God does accept us. Through a relationship with Christ, we are told that our sin that once separated us from God’s love no longer has power. God now accepts us in Christ! Have you trusted Jesus Christ? If not, let’s start there.
Essential 2 – Be Honest and Vulnerable
For a relationship to go to new levels, you have to have honesty with vulnerability. Honesty is telling the truth about who you are; vulnerability is packaging that truth with your emotions.
For instance, “Hi Gary, can I talk with you about something personal? My wife and I got into an argument yesterday about disciplining the kids. I yelled at her and said some hurtful things; I feel horrible about it, and I’m not proud of how I acted; I was very childish. What should I do?”
In this example, the speaker shares the truth “I said some horrible things and yelled,” and he shares the emotions, “I feel horrible and acted childish…”
Essential 3 – Ask, Don’t Demand Acceptance
I’ll never forget the first time at my process group when I finally shared MY STORY about the rottenness in my life (I was honest and vulnerable). After sharing, I felt naked and exposed. The facilitator asked me, “Terry, what do you need from the group?”
I needed acceptance, and I had to ask for it.
The response was overwhelming; the group stood up, gave me a huge group hug, and affirmed that they accepted me and loved me. One person went as far as saying now we KNOW the real Terry, and we like him better than that phony guy you’ve been portraying all week.
One Last Thought
What’s your first step in gaining acceptance?
What will you do today to become the person you want to be? Let’s start a life coaching conversation, and I want to guide your life journey.