Finding God in Grief When Your Heart Is Hurting
Looking back over my life, I can remember seasons when I felt deeply sad, hurt, or emotionally overwhelmed. Some involved losing someone I loved. Others involved disappointment, regret, or circumstances I could not change.
I did not always feel God’s presence during those times. Yet looking back, I can recognize ways He sustained me—sometimes through prayer, sometimes through another person, and sometimes through enough strength to take the next step.
Finding God in grief can begin with bringing Him the pain we do not know how to carry.
Remembering Someone Who Shaped My Life
My great-grandmother died during my sophomore year of college. We were very close, and losing her was terribly painful.
She taught me through the way she lived. Her work ethic, generosity, and deep faith left a lasting impression on me.
Even now, I wish she could have met my wife, known my children, and shared in the life our family has built. Remembering her brings gratitude, but it also brings sadness over the moments we never had together.
Perhaps you understand that feeling. You can appreciate what someone gave you and still ache because they are gone.
Bring Your Burden to Jesus
In Matthew 11:28, Jesus invites those who are weary and burdened to come to Him for rest.
That invitation gives us permission to approach Him honestly.
I remember another difficult season when I got on my bike and prayed as I rode. I cried. At times, I raised my voice as I told God what was happening in my heart.
My prayers were not polished. I was hurting, and I needed help.
You can pray that way, too:
“Lord, I miss them.”
“I do not understand what happened.”
“I am angry, and I need help knowing what to do with it.”
“I feel alone. Please help me recognize Your presence.”
You do not have to resolve your emotions before bringing them to God. The Psalms give us many examples of people approaching Him with sorrow, questions, and frustration.
Give Yourself Permission to Mourn
Jesus says in Matthew 5:4 that those who mourn will be comforted.
His words make room for sorrow. Even Jesus wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus (John 11:35).
Grief can follow the death of someone we love, but it can also accompany a broken relationship, a lost job, or a future that will look different from what we hoped. People experience grief differently, and it does not follow a fixed sequence or timetable.
I learned something about this after my grandfather died. At the time, I tried to be strong and gave myself little room to acknowledge the loss. Years later, I found myself feeling sadness I had not made much space for earlier.
Looking back, I wish I had been more willing to talk about how much he meant to me.
Mourning may include tears, conversation, prayer, writing, or quietly remembering. You do not have to force a particular response to prove that your love was real.
Let Someone Share the Burden
When you are hurting, consider telling a trustworthy person what you need.
You might say:
“I don’t need an answer right now. Could you listen?”
“Would you take a walk with me?”
“I would like to tell you a story about someone I miss.”
A friend, pastor, support group, or counselor may offer a place where you can speak freely. Reaching for support is compatible with trusting God.
If grief is making daily life difficult to manage, or your distress is worsening, speak with a licensed mental health professional or your healthcare provider. You do not need to wait until you feel completely overwhelmed to ask for help.
Make Room for Ordinary Care and Good Moments
During a difficult season, keep your expectations manageable. Attend to meals, rest, movement, and connection as you are able.
Choose one small action for today. Eat with someone you trust. Step outside. Write down a memory. Ask a friend to check in.
You may also find yourself laughing or enjoying something while you are grieving. You can welcome that moment without feeling that you have forgotten the person or minimized the loss.
A Place to Begin Today
Psalm 147:3 offers this picture of God’s care:
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3, NIV
That verse gives me hope in God’s tenderness toward people who are hurting. It does not require us to pretend the wound is already healed.
If your heart is heavy today, begin with these questions:
- What loss or disappointment needs my attention?
- What do I want to tell God honestly?
- Who could offer support this week?
You may not know how the coming months will unfold. You can still bring God today’s burden and let someone walk beside you.
About Terry Porter
Terry Porter is an ICF Professional Certified Coach specializing in life, relationships, and leadership. Based in Traverse City, Michigan, he combines biblical wisdom with practical coaching tools to help people navigate life transitions, strengthen relationships, and take meaningful steps forward.
Find Support for Your Next Step
If a loss or difficult transition has left you unsure how to move forward, I would welcome a conversation. We can discuss what you are facing and whether coaching or another form of support would best serve you.
