Hey Guys, having healthy boundaries in your marriage is critical to the overall success of your marriage. Time and time again, I see couples struggle in their marriage because they have not established healthy boundaries with their extended family. Consider what Dr. Cloud shares in his blog:
Your Family of Origin Could Ruin Your Marriage
“Phillip and Ashton had been married for 12 years when they decided to go to counseling. While Ashton did love her husband, she was struggling to set boundaries with her own family. Any time they needed something, she dropped everything to drive across town and help them out.
“You wouldn’t believe how my wife is with her father. She totally focuses on his every wish. When he criticizes her, she tries harder. And she practically ignores me. I’m tired of being the ‘second man’ in her life.”
This is a common sign of a lack of boundaries with the family of origin. The man feels like he gets leftovers. He feels as if his mate’s real allegiance is to her parents. His wife hasn’t completed the “leaving before cleaving” process; she has a boundary problem. For a marriage to work, however, both spouses need to loosen their ties with their families of origin and forge new ones with the new family they are creating through marriage.
This doesn’t mean that husbands and wives shouldn’t have a loving relationship with their extended families. We are all to be conscientious in repaying our parents for the good they have done. But we do need to set clear boundaries with our families of origin. Many marriages fail because one partner failed to set clear boundaries with the family of origin, and the spouse and children get leftovers.” (Cloud, 2019)
Let’s Start A Conversation
Let’s start a conversation about having healthy boundaries with your extended family. Send me an email ([email protected]) or call (231-499-9069) to set up your session. I can meet with you in-person or online. I’m looking forward to working with you.
Cloud, Dr. Henry. Your Family of Origin Could Ruin Your Marriage. Boundaries.me. October 21, 2019.