Love and Motivation In Marriage
Think back to the day you were married.
Go back even further, to the day you asked her, or he asked you to be married.
What motivated you to ask or say yes?
I imagine it was LOVE.
“I love you; would you marry me?”
Love as a motivator gets us to the altar of marriage. But what keeps us married?
After the wedding, there will be days of difficulty, relational pain, and sadness.
Any healthy relationship has three key elements to keep it moving forward: Love, Freedom, and Responsibility. Each member of the relationship must embrace these three elements for the relationship to thrive and grow.
Love comes first.
Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, Love your wife…”
Love is the motivator for all other actions in any vital relationship in life, especially marriage.
When you must confront your spouse, do it in love.
When there are deep emotions, handle them with love.
When there is relational trauma, process it with love.
Love comes first, it is what motivates us – moves us – to be connected emotionally in the relationship.
Skills To Learn
Evaluate – take a moment to evaluate how loving you are in a relationship. Do you tend to be motivated by doing things out of love or obligation?
Feedback – ask for feedback from those who know you the best. Be ready to hear the truth of who you are and that you might not be as loving as you think you are.
Practice – not just saying you love those close to you but following through with loving actions.
Read – I Corinthians 13 and meditate on the principles of love found in the passage.
What’s Next?
Over the next month, I will be posting 22 separate blog posts on marriage. I will cover the following topics related to marriage:
- Love
- Happiness
- Friendship
- Fighting
- Marriage Growth
- Communication
- Conflict
- Influence
- Teamwork
I will be using three resources, Boundaries in Marriage, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and the Bible.
Is there a specific marriage topic you would like me to address? Please send me an email with your question, and I will do my best to research and answer it during this series.
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Notes:
Cloud, Dr. Henry and Townsend, Dr. John (1999). Boundaries in marriage; Understanding the choices that make or break loving relationships. Zondervan Publishing.
Gottman, Dr. John (1999). The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. Harmony Publishing.
