For years I sought meaningful connections in life the wrong way. These wrong connections left me anxious, depressed, and stuck in a rut. I came across this blog post by Henry Cloud that explains some of my feelings on unhealthy vs healthy connections, check it out:
“Let’s face it. No one wants to feel isolated, alone, or inadequate. Those are all pretty unpleasant feelings, so at some point, your connection-seeking chip is going to say, “Enough of this. I want to feel good.” So it finds something to connect to that feels good.
Whereas a Corner Two connection leaves you feeling bad, or not good enough in some way, in Corner Three it’s the opposite. You feel good! Sometimes really good. The positive feelings take a variety of forms: the affair, the addiction, the attachment to promotions, awards, or positive results, the next acquisition, the next big product launch, accolades from others. Food, sex, drugs … It’s all an attempt to soothe the soul. The problem is that painkillers do not really cure the disease. They just ease the pain, temporarily and superficially making one feel better until we crave the next fix. Sometimes I call Corner Three the “Instagram Corner” because it’s often filtered and fake.
There are a thousand ways we humans have come up with to self-medicate, but they are all ultimately a trap of our own devising and lead to a diminishing lifestyle.
Hey Guys, are you stuck in corner 3? Trapped by pain-killers that never really solve your real problems. Let’s talk! I am a life coach that will help you work through character and competency issues that are holding you back. Start a Coaching Engagement Toady, the first session is free and we can meet virtually (using Zoom) or at my Traverse City Office.
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