As we navigate life we will encounter problems and tensions. I want to share with you a principle I learned at a conference I attended several years ago that will help you with problem solving and tension in your life.
First, some definitions (from the Oxford Dictionary):
“a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.”
“a strained political or social state or relationship.”
Some time ago I has an issue at the house. My daughter was getting really angry about her PC not working properly for her online class.
“Addy, what’s the PROBLEM?” I said.
She replied, “My computer continuously disconnects me from class and my teacher is mad at me.”
So in this situation we have both tension and problems.
The problem to solve is the computer disconnecting, we need to solve this problem.
The tension is the relationship between Addy and me, Addy and her teacher and finally, the tech support and me.
The problem is about an object and the tension is about a relationship.
Now, please get this important principle.
We have to solve the problem and we have to manage the tension.
Sometimes it feels right to YELL at the tension and ignore the problem. This will only get us deeper into the dysfunction we are probably already experiencing in life.
If we address the tension the same way we address problems then this reveals a character issue in our own life.
“As a leader the most important job is distinguishing between the problems that need to be solved and the tensions that need to be managed.” Andy Stanley
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If you would like to learn more about dealing with tension and solving problems in your life then give me a call or shoot me an email.
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