Resentment is an insidious force that creeps into marriages and cripples them. It’s important to rid your marriage of any resentment that might exist, choosing instead to focus on your love for one another. But sometimes, resentment roots into your attitude toward your spouse anyway, and it takes work to weed it out again. If you feel that you resent your spouse, here are a few ways to hit the reset button.
1. CHECK IN WITH YOUR HARD FEELINGS.
How long have your hard feelings been festering? Are you feeling resentful about something that happened long ago, or something more recent? If you’re feeling that you resent your spouse, it can be helpful to check in with your feelings and root out their origin.
It’s not healthy to allow resentful feelings to simmer for months or even years. However, sometimes we’re more likely to feel badly toward our spouse because of something recent or unresolved. Determine whether you’re dealing with an unresolved conflict or whether you’re holding onto a grudge–because those are entirely different matters that require their own approach to resolve.
If it’s a grudge, you can do the work to move past it. But if there’s some sort of recent or unresolved conflict, then you and your spouse will need to work that out in a way that’s effective for you so you.
2. DO SOMETHING KIND FOR YOUR SPOUSE.
Showing kindness to your spouse when you feel badly toward them is a great method of neutralizing your resentment. Whether you choose to help them out at home or to surprise them with a nice gift or meal, go out of your way to be kind. You’ll be surprised how much better you’ll feel afterward.
Focusing on doing something special for your spouse turns your focus outward toward them. When we feel that we resent our spouse, we turn inward on our own pain. And, it can be difficult to get out of that pain once we’re in it. Performing an act of kindness or thoughtfulness toward your spouse could help you reset those hard feelings.
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Have you ever resented your spouse? How did you move past it? Let us know in the comments.
Connect With Terry:
I’m a certified SYMBIS (Save Your Marriage Before It Starts) facilitator and I have a Masters’s Degree in Coaching. I want to help you reach your relationship goals and/or resolve difficult relationship issues. Give me a call or eMail today.
- Call: 231-499-9069
- Email: [email protected]
