What is the worst value you can have in a relationship?
HAPPINESS
Why is happiness a poor value?
Happiness will be fleeting when there is a conflict of needs and desires in a relationship because the other person has wants, needs, and requests that go against our wishes, desires, and needs in a relationship.
Your spouse has needs and desires that differ from yours.
When you make happiness a value in your relationships, you create a goal that can NEVER be attained.
However!
You will have happiness when you create values that lead to happiness.
Honesty in a relationship can lead to happiness.
Trust in a relationship can lead to happiness.
Self-sacrifice in a relationship can lead to happiness.
Patience in a relationship can lead to happiness.
Financial responsibility in a relationship can lead to happiness.
If you focus on happiness as a value, you will destroy your relationship. It is not the job of the other person to bring you happiness. Instead, live by values that will bring happiness.
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Notes:
Cloud, Dr. Henry and Townsend, Dr. John (1999). Boundaries in marriage; Understanding the choices that make or break loving relationships. Zondervan Publishing.
Gottman, Dr. John (1999). The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. Harmony Publishing.