How do you Deal with an Attitude of Entitlement?
Saturday started normal enough until I started feeling angry at other family members because I didn’t get my way. Yeah, that’s me, the 50-year-old life coach dealing with a personal attitude of entitlement…
I became short and cold towards them.
As the day went on, I became more and more entitled about what I deserved, about my rights.
Instead of worshiping God in my daily life, I worshiped myself and my stuff.
And then God gets my attention.
Psalm 139:23-24 – Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
“Terry, you have turned good things and made them your god things, which becomes a bad thing.” It separates you from relationship and real life.”
How to Deal With Entitlement:
- Confess – confess your Entitlement as sin (to God and Others).
- Reflect – where, when, and why did you start to become entitled.
- Set Limits – set limits for yourself and live within them.
- Be Relational – move towards other healthy people and share with them that you’re working on your attitude of Entitlement.
How to Deal with the Entitlement of Others:
Here is a blog by Henry Cloud on the topic of Entitlement.
“Entitlement goes something like this: When someone hears the word “no,” they have the same reaction a two-year-old has when deprived of something: “Bad Mommy!” They feel as though the one who deprives them of their wishes is “bad,” and they become angry.
The angry person has a character problem. If you reinforce this character problem, it will return tomorrow and the next day in other situations. It is not the situation that’s making the person angry, but the feeling that they are entitled to things from others. Here are six steps to consider when someone responds to your boundaries with anger:
- Realize that the person who is angry at you for setting boundaries is the one with the problem.
- View anger realistically. Anger is only a feeling inside the other person. It cannot jump across the room and hurt you.
- Do not let anger be a cue for you to do something. People without boundaries respond automatically to the anger of others.
- Make sure you have your support system in place. If you are going to set some limits with a person who has controlled you with anger, talk to the people in your support system first and make a plan.
- Do not allow the angry person to get you angry. Keep a loving stance while “speaking the truth in love.”
- Be prepared to use physical distance and other limits that enforce consequences.”