As I work with couples to help them have a successful marriage, sometimes one spouse realizes they are married to a narcissist. Dr Henry Cloud explains why boundaries in marriage are key to dealing with narcissistic behavior.
This week I had the opportunity to join Dave Ramsey on his show, and right from the start, we got into a discussion about narcissists.
Dave asked me, “How do you know you’re dealing with a narcissist?”
“You wake up and know you’re not going to have a good day,” I replied. Though I made a light-hearted joke, I know that for many people, dealing with a narcissist creates disruption in their life.
So, how do you avoid falling into the traps of a narcissist? Well, you know that you’re dealing with a narcissist when someone is taking more than you give. And they keep taking because they think they’re “special” in some way. So, have an awareness of what’s going on. Get in touch with what you’re feeling and honor that. You may discover that you stop feeling like a person, and you start to feel more like an object.
We were created to give, and research shows that the happiest of people give from their heart; however, a word of caution here — giving in to a narcissist’s behavior patterns isn’t giving. There is a boundary that’s being violated.
You may have heard me talk about this before — Solid food is for the mature, who, through practice, have had their senses trained to discern good from evil. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, what steps are you taking to recognize good from evil so that you can spot these unhealthy patterns of behavior?
Learning to have boundaries, saying “no” to the narcissist, is a skill you can learn. Give me, Terry Porter, a call today and I can help you learn and apply healthy boundaries in your marriage. CONNECT HERE
Cloud, Dr Henry. How to recognize a narcissist’s traps. The DrCloud.com. August 15, 2019