Your Relationships Needs Love And This One Ingredient to Thrive
Every relationship needs love as the foundation. But love needs Freedom for it to be real love. I remember the famous line in the movie Bruce Almighty when Morgan Freeman explained to Jim Carey that “as God,” he cannot make anyone LOVE him. The individual needs to have Freedom for it to be love.
The same is true in all our relationships, whether with our spouse, children, in social settings, or our occupation. Love requires autonomy.
What is Freedom (Autonomy) in a relationship?
To have Freedom means I am free to be me.
To have my own opinions and the Freedom to have my thoughts and ideas.
I have the freedom to share ideas, thoughts, feelings, or dreams, and because there is love in the relationship, I am accepted even if the other person doesn’t agree with my ideas, thoughts, or dreams.
Autonomy also means I have the Freedom to act, develop myself, and grow as an individual.
Skills to Learn to Thrive in Your Relationship
Developing your Freedom in a relationship requires you to KNOW who you are as a person.
1. Start by stating what you like or don’t like in various situations.
“Jen, thanks for buying me the turtleneck for my birthday. That was thoughtful of you. However, I’m not into turtlenecks, and I think I will exchange it.”
2. Learn to accept the Likes and Dislikes of others.
3. Practice saying NO to requests that go against your identity.
Healthy relationships need love, and love needs freedom. There is one more ingredient for healthy relationships and I’ll cover that in the next blog post.
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Notes:
Cloud, Dr. Henry and Townsend, Dr. John (1999). Boundaries in marriage; Understanding the choices that make or break loving relationships. Zondervan Publishing.
Gottman, Dr. John (1999). The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. Harmony Publishing.
