It’s not the affair (although that will kill your marriage).
It’s not dropping the “F” bomb to your spouse (but that doesn’t help either).
It’s small and subtle deceptions.
I heard a quote this week about deception.
“Relationship ends where deception begins.” (I heard this from Dr. John Townsend)
Think of your marriage. You’re frustrated with your spouse about something. They pick up on your non-verbals and ask;
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
And you reply, “Nothing.”
And that’s the end of relationship.
The slow death of your relationship with your spouse.
WHY ARE WE DECEPTIVE?
- We are hurt & frustrated and we are not sure if sharing the hurt/frustration with our spouse will be received or validated.
- We are acting in a passive/aggressive way back at our spouse, kind of a “making them pay” for hurting us. Yet, doing it in a subtle way that we can deny it if called out.
- We are ashamed that we would even have these negative feelings about something that is “so petty”, we might even be thinking to ourselves, “I just need to grow up.”
WHAT WE SHOULD DO
- Be honest with your spouse.
- Share that you feel distant, frustrated, or hurt.
- Listen to their response without judgment.
- Work with a marriage coach with your spouse to develop communication skills in your marriage.