Repeat after me; “I am not responsible for the happiness of others.” Have you ever got stuck in the trap where you felt like you had to make others happy yet there was nothing you could do to sustain their happiness? It might be with a co-worker, spouse, emotionally fragile friends from church that you have to walk on eggshells around or those extended relatives that you feel you have to impress or please. So, let’s say it again; “I am not responsible for the happiness of others.” So how do you take care of the drama in your life? Here are four quick tips to help you through it.
Be Straight Forward
Dramatic people tend to make every conversation about them, they don’t really live in reality. The listen to what you say and they think about how they can “one-up” you or simply bring the discussion back to them. So, to deal with this, you need to be straight-forward with them. Let them know that for the relationship to really work you need them to not make things just about them but to support you as well. You might want to ask permission to tell them something that might hurt, but you are doing it because you truly care for them. What’s more, you might need to have this conversation several times because the drama is probably been part of their character for years.
Have an Agenda
When know you will have to deal with someone who struggles with being dramatic it’s a good idea to have an agenda of where you want the conversation to go. I like to think ahead of time of three to five topics that I would like to discuss with them (these are the verbal places I will go with them – it usually doesn’t involve politics or parenting). But since I know they like to talk about them I will bring up items that are safe and dear to their heart. Also, I try to plan the meeting place; if the person becomes a jerk when they are drinking then don’t agree to meet them at a bar. If they begin talking about subject you don’t want to talk about tell them and change the topic.
People who struggle with being dramatic tend to be negative in their view of life. Being around negative people can really zap/drain the emotional energy from your life. So to deal with this, you will need to purpose in your heart to be positive and to limit your exposure around them. We all have to deal with people who irritate us, but we are in control of how we respond to them. Be strong, be affirmative and as best you can, be positive about life. Bring LIFE to the party!
Many times in life we will stay in relationships that are toxic far too long because we fear isolation or we fear that we might hurt someone’s feelings. We need to be fearless in setting boundaries around our life that protects our heart.
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) – Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Therefore, we need to be fearless in moving away from toxic relationships and moving toward healthy relationships that will bring out the best in us.
Want more insight?
Consider a few consulting visits with me (in the office, over the phone or in a Zoom Conference Room). I can help you deal with the drama and gain some success in life.
What are you doing to gain ownership of your life? Leave a comment below, I’d love to hear what is working for you.